All of us need a place to rest.
A place of peace that is able to quiet the noice. Where we feel at home.
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| Haystack Rock @ Cannon Beach, Oregon |
Last October my dad suddenly passed away from a massive heart attack. My sister and I, as well as our families were left in shock.
The planned phone calls, last minute visits, the sharing of new adventures, the hellos and good byes didn't have a chance to happen.
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| 2013 |
Next month we will cross over the one year mark of that awful day.
In the last 11 months my sister and I have closed accounts, alerted all the necessary organizations, gone through more pictures than I can count and with the help of his Grands gone through his clothes. Many of us wear them proudly.
The only thing we had not done was take him home.
Leslie and I met at the Portland airport for what would be a trip to take our dad home, but one that proved to be full of laughter, tears, stories and sister time.
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| Famous PDX carpet |
Many people know that Cannon Beach, Oregon is my place of rest. Its where I feel at home, calm and void of all the noise. This love started when I was 11 and we discovered this beautiful little beach after moving from California. My parents and sisters loved this beach as well.
So many of my favorite memories are family day trips to the beach.
As Leslie and I pondered where to scatter Dad's ashes we knew he would want to go home. He would want to be in Oregon, more specifically at the beach. He loved the water. I can't remember a time when he didn't totally relax as he walked through the freezing water and listened to the waves crash. He really was at peace in nature.
Our first sister trip took us home to Oregon, Cannon Beach.
We spent two delightful days and three nights eating all of our favorite food, shopping at our favorite boutiques, walking the beach and feeling the closeness of our parents and sister Kristen.
Cannon Beach exceeded our every hearts desire. Clouds parted each night for bright sunsets. The bear claws and poppy seed muffins tasted better than ever and the pizza was so good we had it for lunch for three days.
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| Matching sweaters |
We did take time to enjoy all the little things that we have always loved about the Oregon Coast. The coast can grow the most beautiful hydrangeas and fuchsias. One time I even took a cutting, took it home fed it and it sprouted roots. I eventually planted it in the yard.
Long walks to Haystack Rock gave us lots of time to talk, jump over the jelly fish and freeze our toes in the water. Although the water wasn't ultra freezing like normal.
For years I had heard about the Cannon Beach elk but seemed to miss their sitings. This trip we saw them each morning as they nibbled on the grasses, crossed the river and relaxed in the dunes. They are impressive.
Both of our parents were very talented. My mom could sew just about anything, her crafts were adorable and she could cook like no one I know. Dad's talents were a bit different. He could grow just about any tree or plant, manicure a yard that would put Disney to shame and was a great story reader.
One of the arts he wanted to try was watercolor painting. Leslie and I have picked up this new art in the last year. So, we tried out our skills along the beach.
At one time in my Dad's life he wanted to be a park ranger. My Grandma pushed him in a different direction and eventually he went into marketing. Wildlife, the forest and the beach never left his system. I think this explains why he loved camping and going to the beach so much.
No matter the age of a child, I believe they always need their parents. We said good bye to our Mom in 2014 and now it was time to say good bye to our Dad and let him go.
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| Dad, look at that smile |
This wasn't easy.
Watching the wind blow the tall grasses on the dunes reminded me of him. Listening to the waves crash reminded me of our walks along the waters edge. I was surrounded by my Dad everywhere I looked.
For the first time the tears began to flow. My heart was full and I was missing my Dad all the way to my toes.
Just then my sweetheart called to check in. He didn't know that we had decided to scatter my Dad's ashes or that I was feeling very sad as I said good bye. I could feel his love as if he were standing next to me.
On our final morning we drew in the sand as we always did, left our footprints next to our drawing and then kissed our parents good bye. My parents weren't perfect and we were not a perfect family, but in this moment I felt joined with them in love.
Our sister trip didn't end there, we headed into town to where we grew up.
We drove by our childhood home, it looks so different. Saw our elementary school and where we use to walk to school. As luck we have it we saw a man who resembled a young boy from our childhood ward that was developmentally delayed walking in our old neighborhood.
We made one more emotional stop before returning to our shopping, eating and ice cream frenzy.
In 2001 my youngest sister Kristen passed away. When my mom passed we buried her to the right of Shorty. Both Leslie and I wanted to take flowers, straighten up the dirt and bark at the feet of their site and enjoy the West Hills view just as my Dad use to do.
Just as the day we buried mom, it was cold, cloudy and windy, thankfully it wasn't snowing. As we were about to leave the clouds parted and the sun shown through right at Kristen's name plate. We knew we did good.
Mom, Dad and Kristen are together in heaven.
My sister Leslie, is the PaRtY! Seriously. No matter the occasion she brings the fun. So, we waved good bye, left the cemetery and continued our shopping. We found a few fun things to take home to the fam, enjoyed a delicious Mexican dinner and more ice cream.
Salt 'n Straw you have me craving more ice cream.
On our last day all we wanted to do was spend the last bit of time together. We found ourselves buying a special gift from our parents. We didn't anticipate this memorable experience or that we would find the most perfect piece of jewelry, but it is where we ended up. Our pieces are beautiful, yet different. The best part is we did it together in Oregon.
Before dinner we enjoyed the Sunday views of the Portland Temple. The flowers were as beautiful as they were the day I was sealed to Sean. Because it was Sunday we had the place to ourselves. Again, we felt our parents, sister and the blessing of eternal families.
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| Can't believe I took this |
Losing my Dad was shocking. Settling his affairs was a long, tiresome, often sad process. Because of all that has happened in the last 11 months Leslie and I were able to travel home. I couldn't be more grateful for the time we had together.
Love you whole bunches Flee
